Butterflies, cardinals, dragonflies, and dreams are all things that I have heard people refer to as symbols of loved ones that have passed on. I have to admit, I have always, in the back of my mind, thought these people were grasping at straws to feel close to the spirit of a loved one. I had never had a spirit visit me, so I have always been a bit skeptical when I hear people say that a cardinal in the tree out front is their dead father stopping by for a visit. After my recent experience with signs from the other world, my mind has been opened to the possibility that maybe there is more to these things than I’ve ever allowed myself to see. I’m not going to sit here and say I think Mickey is actually coming down from heaven to tell me things, but I do think there are little signs that allow me to feel close to him. Don’t think that I’m crazy, just read further and see what you think about my little signs.
My husband died while we were on vacation in another state. I decided that the quicker I could get back home to be with my family and friends, the better off I would be. So, I decided to drive the 17-hour trip from Florida, leaving out around 12:30 am to head home. As the sun came up that morning, more and more people were starting to hear of Mickey’s passing. My phone began buzzing with pictures. People from all over our state were sending me photos of a magnificent double rainbow that could be seen from multiple counties. What is the big deal you might ask? According to some spiritual beliefs and cultures, a double rainbow represents a bridge between heaven and earth. For me, it was my sign that Mickey was leaving the physical world, earth, and was transitioning into the spiritual realm, heaven. This was my first personal experience with signs, but they didn’t stop that morning.
Mickey had quit smoking years before his passing and in the place of a cigarette, he would chew on a toothpick. There would always be a pile of toothpicks in the car, his jacket pockets, chewed ones on the nightstand, and one hanging out of the corner of his mouth. When we went to restaurants all of his friends would grab a handful of toothpicks for him. It was his thing. Now, even after throwing away toothpicks daily for the past two years, I still find toothpicks in the most random places. I was once at work and felt something sticking me in my leg and found a chewed-up toothpick stuck in the seam of my scrubs. Its just a small reminder of him, but this little symbol lifts my spirit on the bad days.
The first year was so hard, especially when his favorite holiday, Thanksgiving, rolled around. I was home that first Thanksgiving Day, trying to stay busy preparing the food that I had committed to make for dinner that evening. I was on the back porch watching the turkey cook in the air fryer when I began to feel sorry for myself. Mickey should have been there helping me. This was his “thing”. Tears started flowing, ugly crying. I was deflated. I walked inside and grabbed my phone off of the counter. Missed call. Wait! Missed call at 12:09 from Mickey’s cell phone, which was powered off and locked away. I called right back and it went straight to voicemail. I was in disbelief. I called his son just to make sure someone wasn’t playing a cruel trick on me. He confirmed that his phone was powered off and locked in the safe.
This phone call really threw me for a loop. I spent most of the day and night trying to figure out the meaning of the call. I was also trying to figure out if the time of the call, 12:09 pm, had any significance. Was something going to happen December ninth? Did I need to stay up until 12:09 that night for something to happen? I woke up from a dead sleep that night and it hit me so clear. If you take the number 12:09 and flip it around, it is 09/12, Mickey’s birthday. I may be reaching here, but to me, those numbers verified that the time was not an accident. It was letting me know in that lonely moment, God heard my cries and was there to comfort me. From that point on, it happens every day twice a day that I look at the clock at the exact moment of 09:12. I kiss my fingertips and raise them to the sky to let Mickey know that I can feel him around me and I’m going to be okay.
I never understood why people would try and convince me that their loved ones left them signs but now I understand. I now believe that God allows us to have these little moments to bring us a glimmer of joy as we walk through the valleys. I’m a believer. Nine twelve.
I find myself always having THE GROOVE station on. One morning I got into the car and was so overwhelmed with stress and worrying. I turned the car on and the Ojays was on. I could see him sitting next to me shaking his head and snapping his fingers, singing. I cried and smiled the whole way to work. I truly believe he was with me that morning when I needed him.
OMG, the tears!! When I need him the most, he will come to me in my dreams. I often wake up feeling as if I just spent hours with him. It calms me.